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Episode 123 The Diary of an Emotional Eater: Identities, Bug Fixes and Upgrades

Uncategorized Jul 14, 2019

Episode 123 The Diary of an Emotional Eater: Identities, Bug Fixes and Upgrades

Hey, good morning. How are you? Okay it's a little early, but I'm getting ready to go to class. I'm always studying because that's just what I do. I'm always trying to get better. I'm trying to get better for myself, I'm trying to get better for you. So, that's why I do what I do.

Anyway, my name is Tammy Marshall. I am The UnEmotional Eater. The thing that we've been talking about in class is about identities. I just wanted to know - sometimes God gives me funny pictures in my head - and I just want to kind of wanted to share with you what happens when you have struggled with weight, like your whole life. Most of the folks that I work with, that's who they are. They're not the person who is normally fit and has been thin their whole life and they got baby weight. The folks that I work with are the folks who have struggled forever.

My first memories about having crazy interactions with food and diets, I was like at age six. I took my first diet supplement at six. I have this whole long history. The majority of the people that I work with, that's who they are. What happens in that, is we create identities around overeating, using food, being overweight, there's a whole identity that gets created in that. If you if you've been listening to me, you may have heard me tell the story about in high school I got this nickname, because of this mean girl, of ‘Tubby Tammy’. I'm probably I don't know, ten, fifteen pounds overweight. I'm was a size eight, but because she's calling me ‘Tubby Tammy’ and I took on that identity.

Identities are almost like bugs in your phone. I don't know about you but I'm an Apple girl and so it feels like once a week, there's an upgrade that happens on our phone. Because whatever program they fixed the last time created a new set of problems. They do these updates in order to fix it. What happens in us is, we've never gone back and went, “Oh, that's a bug.” It's not that I'm a bad person, it's not that I'm weak willed, it's not that all the 52 million things that we say about ourselves. It's because I have a bug, in my programming.

I'll tell you the story about my son, which he hates it when I use them as examples. I told my son his whole life that he was a good tester. As a little kid, I’d go, “You just test so well; when the teacher asks you questions or you have to write things down, you just test really well. It's really crazy how information just comes in your head, you’re just a good tester.” I told my kid that his whole life. Even if he would get a bad test score, I would go, “Man, I wonder how that happened? You're a good tester, that's really weird”. I never gave him any place for him to think anything other than he was a good tester. How that turned out is, my son's a really good tester. Any kind of test, he scores really high. In his programming, I put in this data that says you're a good tester; and that’s what he believes.

Flipside, right? When I was a kid, my freshman year of algebra I had this horrible algebra teacher. I thought it was me, every day that man would tell me, “You're awful at algebra, you're never going to get this” I mean, just like all the time. He would say, “You're not going to get this, you can't do this, you're not good at algebra” and I believed him. So, by December that first year, like I'm over here in remedial math because I think I'm bad at algebra. I'm not going to get math. I lived out the rest of my days in high school and into early going to college; I would avoid math; I was in all these really low function math classes. Until finally, in college had to go back and take algebra again, and I got a really good teacher and he's like, “You're really good at algebra, you totally get this.” Then going on, one of my employers made me take some math test. I was totally freaked out about it and I scored one of the top scores of anybody in the company. Just because this teacher put this bug in my programming that said I was bad at math; it just wasn't true.

What happens if it’s just a bug that has been put into our programming about our relationship with food? That we're overweight, that we can't control what we eat, that we don't want to exercise, that just like fill in the blank. We've created these identities that say, “I'm bad at this, I can't ever get this, I always fail” and we just have never had a way or actually we've never even considered, that it was just a bug in the programming and that we needed to go repair the bug.

Also, realizing that we know more today about how the mind works and how to access it, than we've ever known before. There are ways to actually break it down, look at it and actually upgrade the programming, for lack of a better word. It's interesting; it's why I've been studying the stuff that I've been studying for the last I don't know, two years specifically. Because we just have ways of actually accessing things now.

I just want to invite you into this idea, that you're not what you think you are. I don't care how much evidence you've gathered up to go, “Oh no, I really am” I'm telling you, it's a programming issue and you don't have to live with that. You all know I have this group coming up, if you want to talk about it, message me. But I just want you to walk away knowing that this isn't how you have to do life. The food has no power and I didn't know that. I always felt like with food, I couldn't say no, I couldn't resist it, it just had some kind of crazy power over me. What I know now, after doing the work that I do; it's just not true. Food doesn't control me; it has no power and I can walk away any time I want to. That is completely different than how I started this process.

The other thing is, it's just nice to feel like you're walking in freedom, instead of bondage all the time. It’s obviously too early and I have to get to class. I just want to tell you, go have a blessed day, go love on somebody. You all hear me tell this all the time; go be kind, it's a crazy world out there. Just some act of kindness, a smile, thank you, open the door, put somebody's cart back, let them in traffic, that's my big one, but just go love on somebody today. But especially go love yourself. That's the thing that I always come back to; God told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. I realized that I didn't love me. Until we love ourselves, it's really hard to take care of something that you don't love. Go love you and have a blessed day.

Talk to you soon, blessings!

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