Episode 128 The Diary of an Emotional Eater: Turning Uncomfortable Into Comfortable
Hey, how are you? My name is Tammy Marshal, I’m The UnEmotional Eater. How are you all doing? I haven’t seen you in forever.
It’s my fault because there’s just so much going on this summer.
I have to have the glasses, but I have this big light and so you all have to love me through the big light because I have to read my notes, or I get really off focus. I’ve been working; always trying to work, and if you’ve been following me lately, I’ve been teaching about polarity.
That is the thing in these last two years that I’ve really come to understand is about the polarities. Our world is built in polarities, right? There’s front and back, there’s left and right, there’s up and down, there’s day and night, there is always an opposite in everything. So, what happens when we’re off balance?
I’m just going to give you the abridged version, but when we’re off balance we have a tendency to be really tight to one of the polarities but it’s the balance between the two polarities is where all the strength is. I know I’m repeating this, but I liken that to a car battery. If you’ve ever had to jump a car battery there’s a positive and negative, it requires both of those being in balance to give the charge that’s necessary to turn the engine over and the same is true for us.
If we are emotional eaters what happens is, we have a tendency to be very polarized to the negative. We are also very polarized to certain foods and I’ll put that in another video but when you walk through this with me, you’ll go “Holy Buckets, I had no idea” because it’s just really interesting.
I finally came to understand we are fighting the wrong fight. I’ve been around mental health for 30 years; I’ve had an eclectic career path - but one of the things you learn in Psychology 101 is we used to blood-let for mental health. When people had depression, they would cut their ankles and let blood flow out of their body because they believed that would help them. We’ve done lobotomies and we’ve done shock treatments and we’ve done all these things, yet we didn’t know.
The reality is it’s about balancing these polarities and the same is true in the diet industry. You and I have been taught that we need to eat these certain foods and leave these other foods out. If we just had more “will power” and fought against the food and compulsions, then we’d be okay. Well no, that is not it how this has worked out. I’m just telling you there is such a softer easier way and we’ve been fighting the wrong fight, with the wrong tools. All right I’ll get off that soapbox.
How are you Heather?
So, back to the “I have no glasses on” and I don’t know where I was so hang on.
I’m always learing and I’m always reading, I’m obsessed with education and have been my whole life. For the girl who hated traditional education I probably read three to four books a week. Now it’s all audible, right? I’m not reading but I listen to books and educate myself on spiritual healing, as well as food and emotions. I’m just this constant learner.
Now it came up about how emotional eaters don’t like to feel uncomfortable and so anytime something comes up like that, I’ll go ahead and take it through the process. I consider those angels. When something kind of comes up and hits me in the face I now go “that’s a sweet kiss from the Lord, that’s just my little angel letting me know “hey we need to go and integrate that”.” So, this word came up about UNCOMFORABLE and how we don’t like to feel uncomfortable, so I balance that against comfortable.
My issue is food right? So, when I went to experience uncomfortable, I saw myself going after all these foods, but THEY left me feeling uncomfortable. I don’t like that feeling. I don’t like the feeling of too much food in my body, that’s uncomfortable for me. The other thing was, I just realized I felt uncomfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable.
There’s a difference in the two. So, it was almost like “oh I ate that food and it really wasn’t that bad” but it’s like this natural thing that happens.
I’ve created the path, right? I’ve created the association, nobody has done nothing to me, I created that all on my own. When I would feel that uncomfortable feeling it made me a little anxious or a little stressed or whatever, then naturally I would physically have feelings of being hungry. My stomach may growl, I may just feel that little tingle or it may be just food thoughts in my head. But that is all trained and learned behavior. That’s the uncomfortable side but then I stop and go to the other side and I experience comfortable.
What was interesting was as I experienced uncomfortable; I immediately grab for food again, right? But yet the food left me feeling uncomfortable. It’s really weird in doing this process, like it’s funny because it’s just a few steps but yet they’re so profound and they flush out your emotional heart in a heartbeat.
You’re just like right there with it.
What I saw in that moment is when I go for comfortable and go for food, that food leaves me feeling very heavy, weighted down in my body. A lot of times what I go after is sugar or carb laden food which leaves me just feeling like I’ve taken a Valium, like I’m just completely zoned out and non-functioning.
Well, there’s no comfort in that. There’s the lie, right? From a Christian perspective we’re always looking for where we’ve taken the hook of the lie and that’s the lie. The lie that those foods are going to bring me comfort when they’ve never brought me comfort. They’ve only brought me a deeper level of discomfort or uncomfortable feelings. I just wanted to share that and just let you know we’ve all being lied to.
We’ve been lied to by our own emotions, the diet industry, the medical industry. Now I don’t want to go after them, but they only know what they know. I’m very blessed with a primary care doc that totally gets this stuff and I love talking to them because it is just validating to me. But there is a whole group of people out there who are like “yeah I know it’s calories in, calories out and you have to exercise”. I’m telling you that is all crap.
Okay, go love on somebody. I always tell you all that it’s a big crazy world out there and people just need to know, us included that there is love, kindness, and goodness left in the world. Go, be that loving, kindness, and goodness in the world, but I’m also going to remind you to accept love.
Sometimes when you’re the strong one, the leader and the one taking care of everybody else you forget to accept love and care from other people. Just be that person that can graciously accept love back.
Yes, that is our biggest commandment right is to “Love God with all our heart and to love our neighbors as ourselves”. The first person I had to learn to love was me because I couldn’t love you, unless I fully loved me.
Go have a blessed day and I’ll talk to y‘all soon.
I want your feedback. I don’t know what y‘all think about this whole ‘comfortable uncomfortable’ and about integrating emotions. Please leave me some feedback about your thoughts, feelings, questions.
Go have a blessed day!
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