Episode 131 The Diary of an Emotional Eater: We Cease Fighting Anyone and Anything Including the Food
Aug 22, 2019
Episode 131 The Diary of an Emptional Eater: We Cease Fighting Anyone and Anything Including the Food
We cease fighting!
That statement, we cease fighting anyone or anything is one of those statements or principals I learned a thousand years ago; we cease fighting anyone and anything which includes food. I'm in all these Facebook groups, overeaters, compulsive eaters, binge eaters and intermittent fasting groups.
It always strikes when people say, “just tell me what to eat, just tell me what to eat, just tell me what to eat”, which comes out of the diet conditioning epidemic.
But the reality is I don't know what you need to eat.
Your body knows what you need to eat. We're all little science projects. We all have a different makeup. I personally like a higher protein diet, but I have friends that when they have had their lab work done, they need carbs. So, for me to go to tell them they need some kind of low carb diet, would be horrible for them.
Sometimes the reason people go on these diets and end up failing, is because their body does not like it. It's not because they're doing it wrong, it's their body protecting itself. Then we take it personally, like we failed, we're doing it wrong, something's wrong with us, something's wrong with our willpower. We’ve never considered the fact that the diet is wrong, that we are giving our body the wrong prescription (food is medicine), it is a wrong action for us personally.
It breaks my heart, I'm over here always beating my drum about cease fighting the food, the food is not the problem. The problem is how I feel about the food. The problem is what I believe about the food. The problem is the power that I've given the food. This was not a mind over matter. I needed very concrete steps of action, a structure for managing emotions. Personally, I wasn’t taught that growing up. Most people weren’t taught that during that time.
I watched people around me either not show any emotion, being very stoic or I saw people who were completely out of control; there wasn't much in between. I just didn't learn very well. All those people, I'm not blaming them, they were all doing the best they could. Honestly, they were doing better than the last generation.
But still, I needed a very concrete, structured way of, “This is how you do this” and so that allowed me to be able to:
Experience emotion without feeling out of control while coming to true resolution.
We get caught on the what I call the polar opposite. I was very stuck in anger personally, and I will just tell you that if you have to choose between depression and anger, anger has way more energy, so I chose it a lot. There's a lot of movement in anger and I was under the illusion that it kept me safe. The illusion that if I kept everybody away on some level, then it would keep myself safe. It was an illusion and I was under it for a really long time.
When you're stuck over here really tied to this one emotion, then you're not experiencing other emotions like joy. I'm a scripture girl, so the “joy in the Lord is my strength”. Well, I was never experiencing joy, because I was so tied on anger, which meant I wasn’t operating from a strength position.
How do I get on this topic after talking about food?
It’s part of why I ate. When you feel that much ‘grrrr’ in your body all the time, food was the thing that would calm the inside of me down. Again, it was an illusion, but it would give me a little break.
When I started integrating emotions, all of a sudden, I knew what it was to feel joy. I knew what it was to feel anger and what it was like to be able to flow between the two and integrate them. I was no longer way over here on this pole anymore. All of a sudden my body was freed up; you expand.
I always talk about how God wants us to be like a rose; we've all seen a rose when it is fully expressed. How beautiful it is when it's in full bloom, how velvety it is on the inside, how tender looking it is.
Rosebud’s a pretty sturdy flower, we've also gotten those at Valentines. You know during that time they are trying to get a whole bunch of roses out at one time. The rose is in a bud, they kind of bloom, they try to open, but then they just die on the top and their heads fall off. If we're not free to express our emotion (God gave us those), if we're not free to express it in a way where we're flowing; not that crazy stuff, where you're just spewing on everybody, who needs all that drama. But, where you're able to flow between positive and negative and I don't like to use those words because you know God gave all of them to us. It's just some of them feel more positive and negative. We're able to flow easily between them and they feel more integrated, rather than all tightened up on one side. Then we become that fully expressed rose, where our heart is open. We are able to receive; we are also able to give. There is nothing more beautiful, than seeing this fully expressed rose. The fragrance that comes out of that, the beauty, the visual beauty that comes out of that, the touch that comes out of that; there is nothing more beautiful. That's true for us, when we're in that fully expressed place, we are that beautiful. Where we are being what God has called and designed us to be.
Let me bring this back to food. As long as I was fighting food, I couldn't be that, because my thoughts were about food and shaming myself for what I had eaten the last time. Being obsessive about what I was going to eat the next time. It is a complete distraction. I’ve studied for a long time, but the more I get into it, I realized it is so driven by media, so driven by the food industry to distract women from their power. That's not saying that men don't get it too, but by large look around, the women are the ones who have just completely been having all their power taken away from them. We're over here worried about what we're going to eat, what we look like, it just completely takes our self-esteem for a ride.
I just want to tell you to wake up and know who you are. Know who you are in Christ. Know who you are as a woman. Know you are not what you ate or what those scales say about you. You are so much more than all of that. Whatever you're believing about the food, it's just not true, it's just not true.
There are some facts in life, personally, I try to eat as close to how God made food as possible. The less processing, the less that's done to food, I believe the better it's going to be for your body. Just because your body knows a little bit more on how to break it down and what to do with it. I personally, systematically, went through and did what I call “broke up” with any food that had a draw on me, because I didn't want food to have that kind of power over me. I just didn't, I don't want anything having that kind of control over me. I have power, it was a made-up story in my head, and I had to do concrete steps to break up.
Again, I'm not saying that it's mind over matter, it's not about white knuckling or getting it out or trying to use my willpower, because none of that ever worked for me.
I hope somewhere in there that was helpful. I’d love your feedback;
• What is it that you want to talk about?
• What is it that you want to hear about?
• You agree with me.
• You don't agree with me.
• What’s your experience in this?
I’d just love to know what you all are thinking today. I'm also going to tell you to go love on somebody. It's a big crazy world out there - I tell you all this every day. It's a big crazy world out there, people just need to know that there is love and kindness and goodness left in the world and so please go be that in the world. It's simple stuff.
So, go love on somebody, be blessed today. I’ll also tell you to go love on yourself and not in some crazy, selfish, self-centered kind of way, but just speaking kindness. I can't tell you how many times I watch the women in these in different groups or the emails I receive where women just say middle school, mean girl stuff to themselves; stop that! Just stop that.
Be kind, speak well over yourself, speak whatever is good - and all of a sudden, the scripture has left me. You all can remind me of what the scripture is - but speak life, speak goodness. Whatever is good and kind speak that over yourself. We get enough chatter; we don't need to be getting it out of the inside of us too. Alright, I'll stop, you all be blessed, see ya!
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