Episode 134 The Diary of an Emotional Eater: What are you resisting?

Good morning. How are you? My name is Tammy Marshall. I’m the creator of The UnEmotional Eater Protocol. We’re going to talk about ‘Resistance’ and I don’t know why but that’s the hot topic now in my world, Resistance.

Sometime recently I said something about ‘whatever you resist, persists’. It’s a law. We work within laws, like the law of gravity; the law of lift and thrust is greater than the law of gravity. It utilizes the law of gravity in order to lift and thrust, but the law is true. If you drop an apple, the apple is going to fall to the ground every time but the same is true for resistance. Whatever we come up against then something is going to push up against us right back.

The law of resistance shows up in lots of different areas of our lives. I am going to challenge you today - we never really take inventory or realize that is what we are doing, that we are resisting. I’m going to ask you to start to take inventory and notice what it is that you are actually doing. I’m going to bring this down to how you relate with food.
I don’t believe in diets they don’t work, look around we are now at a 40% obesity rate in the U.S. Whatever we have been doing isn’t working and the problem is only getting bigger.

So, that’s pretty much at epidemic proportion that we’re at 40% as a country in the obesity rate. So, what is it that you’re resisting when it comes to food and interacting with food? What is it that you’re resisting when it comes to emotions?

The folks that I help, coach, lead groups for is all around ‘Emotional Eating’. It’s where we’ve made this connection, I don’t know what to do with my emotions, so food is my solution. It’s in helping people disconnect and re-wire their brain so that their brain will take a different path because it’s just created this path.

What I realize for myself and I always say “I wish I had read about this somewhere is a book and thought it was a good idea”. No, this is about my walking it out, figuring it out and teaching other people how to walk it out.

I had to ask myself one day “What are those hard things that I’m resisting” because that is the thing holding me up. Typically, it is a belief so, what is it that I’m resisting?

Is the resistance about saying what I’m going to eat for the day rather than just kind of being loosie-goosy about it?

I always laugh about this because I was a single mom out of the gate and I always felt like I was a pack mule. When you leave the house with a small child there’s a plan.

You know you’re always going to need
• X-amount of diapers
• X-amount of formula
• Extra pacifiers
• Some toys
• Changes of clothes - they’re inevitably going to go through a change of clothes.

You make a plan when you leave the house because you know you’re going to need certain things and you don’t want to be out in the world without those certain things.

But yet we leave the house everyday knowing that we are going to need to eat and we make zero plan as to for how we are going to solve that problem.

That’s how I would end up in some fast-food line because I’d made zero plan for how I was going to solve this problem.

So, it’s in the saying “What am I resisting?
• Am I resisting making a plan?
• Am I resisting saying what I’m going to eat for that day?
• Am I resisting cooking? Maybe I need to go take a cooking class because I’m resisting even cooking food?

I get that, I know it sounds crazy, but I was intimidated by being in the kitchen until I met these ladies who were singing and dancing in the kitchen. Those women made it fun. When I started looking at myself, I realized I had all this angst about being in the kitchen.

If you look at my family background, there are some reasons why I had anxiety about it. I also didn’t really know how to cook, so it was intimidating for me to be in the kitchen. To go and learn some things about cooking and bringing fun into the kitchen made it okay.
I will tell you, Hello Fresh those delivery services where you have to make the food but it’s all with the recipes. That really helped me. That seems really silly, but it helped me following all those recipes and having all the ingredients right there. It really helped me to overcome that resistance I had to being in the kitchen.

The other thing is “Are you resisting moving your body” because that’s one of my worst if you know me. But what is the resistance about?
• Is it resisting being in the gym?
• Is it resisting dancing?
• Is it resisting going for a walk?
• What is it that you are really resisting?

I don’t like to be sweaty; I was resisting been sweaty.
Well there are ways to move your body that you don’t have to sweat. I will tell you your body really needs to sweat a little bit every day, so that’s something I can work on because it’s good for your body to sweat a little bit every day.

The point is though breaking down, what is it that you’re actually resisting?

Are you resisting giving up Oreo Cookies or some other favorite food?
Do you have this belief that if you change how you eat, then you are going to have to give that up? Well maybe that’s not true, maybe you can keep that. Maybe not. I don’t know, we all have to come to our own conclusions, I don’t know.

A lot of times people come to me, they will say, “I know I have to give this up”. I don’t ask people to give up anything. I just want them to be in balance. When they get the power of choice back. I know what it is to not have the power of choice when certain foods are around me. Today I have the power of choice. If at any time I feel I’m getting out of balance with a food, I go to work on it. I refuse to let food have power over me. This is what I teach my clients, is how to take your power back from the food. The food does not have power. The only power it has is the power that you’ve given it. That is a wiring issue, that you’ve created, so if you’ve created it then you can UN-create it just as well.

I really want you to take inventory of yourself, notice what it is that you’re coming up against?

• What is it that you believe that has to happen in order for you to lose weight, be healthy and NOT eat emotionally?
• What is it that you believe that you’re resisting and refusing to do?
I would love your feedback and what your response is to that. If you don’t want to say that publicly then you are welcome to send that to me in a private message and know that you’re not alone. The other thing is until we started breaking it down and taking it apart it was like we did these broad strokes of:

 I can’t lose weight
 I emotionally eat

These are broad strokes but when you start to break it down, it starts to lose its power. You start to see what is behind the magic curtain so that it’s not all big and ominous anymore. I hope that information helps.

Know that I love you. Know that it’s most important for you to love you. I always tell you about going and looking in the mirror, saying “I love you, no matter what you eat or don’t eat today. No matter what you weigh today or don’t weigh today I love you” so I challenge you with that also.

Please go be the kindness in the world. It’s a big crazy world out there and people just need to know that there is love, kindness, goodness, and light still in the world. So, go out there and be that for someone else because guess what you get it back when you go and reflect it. You get it reflected back on you. So, go be that in the world today.
Blessings.