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Getting Rid of “WHY”: How One Simple Question Keeps Us Stuck (Part Two)

Uncategorized May 07, 2019

Yesterday’s post left us considering how to ask better questions. 

To recap, as I said yesterday, we deceive ourselves into thinking that by passionately asking those “why?” questions, we are highly engaged in seeking answers.  Yet the truth is that we only want answers which require no action from us.  Gosh, that sounds harsh - but honestly, as badass as I appeared by demanding answers to my “why” questions, the truth is that I was just waiting for something or someone else to change so that I could miraculously experience change as a result.

Look, it isn’t that “why?” questions are bad questions necessarily, but their answers don’t include a call to action.  They are low-level questions. They generate information which may or may not be true, but they also don’t ask us to do anything nor do they produce anything. 

Stick with me here.  Instead of asking “why” and waiting for something or someone to change, what if I did something differently?  What if I started asking better questions?

  • What would need to happen right now for my body (or food) to be viewed as good? 
  • What would I need to do or like to do in this moment to experience my body or my food or this situation in a supportive way
  • What would I need to believe in this moment to see my body or my food or this situation differently?  

Tinker with these or come up with some questions of your own – these are just some ideas to get you started.   

Now I want you to notice something important here.  Your mind will answer the question that it has been presented.  Improving the quality of the question improves the actionability of the answer. 

When I asked “why?” questions, my mind would come up with a thousand reasons why things were as they appeared.  When I asked “why?” questions about my body and my food choices, my mind responded that I was just somehow flawed, or less than, or that I was just a general f**k-up.

But when I ask higher level questions my mind responds with actionable direction. 

Instead of asking “why is my butt so wide?”, asking “what would I like to do or believe in this moment to see my body as sexy, acceptable, fun, fit, just right?” will give me an answer that I can act upon.

My experience has been that we never stop to question our thoughts or challenge them to find higher possibilities.  Change the nature of the question and you change the quality and usefulness of the answer.

Go have fun with asking higher questions.  I can't wait to hear about the opportunities that show up in your world. 


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