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The Diary of an Emotional Eater: The restoration of the freedom of choice

Recently I was introduced to intermittent fasting. Being in the post menopause phase of life getting the scales to move sometimes can be daunting. But the shocker has been how easy this way of eating is for me.

But the real shocker when you are an emotional, food obsessed eater? The work I have done on myself, the endless cravings, food compulsions has worked. As I sit here in a fasted stated not eaten anything in over 18 hours I am not hungry.  But even more important I wasn't sitting, staring at the clock when it hit the 18th hour waiting on when I could put a morsel of food in my mouth.  Eating everything in sight because I might not get to eat what I want, when I want it, as the fear of deprivation would overwhelm me.  I am no longer food obsessed. 

If you have never struggled with emotional eating, compulsive eating or felt like a down right food addict then none of what I just said makes any sense.  But if you are or have,  then you understand what a big deal it is to feel relieved of the bondage of the obsession with food.  

You know that crazy obsession of what you are going to eat, when you are going to get to eat, how much, who will know, making sure you have enough, hiding the evidence, blah, blah, blah...UGH  All the while wanting to lose weight and not eat this or that.  The obsession and frustration is endless. 

When someone suggested fasting years ago I thought no way, I am hypoglycemic.  Turns out that wasn't true or if it was at the time,  somewhere along the way it has corrected itself.  

Those food obsessions, believing I couldn't make it a day without Diet Coke, sugar, fried, chewy, ooey, gooey, fill in the blank for the obsession of the day.  None of those things were true either.  You see it's been 6 years since I have had Diet Coke.  I can't remember the last candy bar I ate which seems crazy since I used to eat them every day.  The changes to my food choices are easy, no demand, no longer that white knuckle, gut it out, beat myself up, strife and struggle, shaming kind of thing. 

I thought I would pass out, be weak, have a headache if I went more than 4 hours without food.

Turns out none of that has been true either.  Of course the foods I eat anymore in general are pretty clean so that has a lot to do with why it wasn't an absolute shock to my system. 

But what has happened as I have been working on changing my relationship with food over the last few years is my appetite has changed.  I no longer enjoy the feeling of sugar or high carb foods.  They are too hard on my body and I don't like treating myself that way anymore.  Those foods always came with a price for me, I just didn't realize or acknowledged it or at least was willing to not feel that way.  I was finally able to make the connection between what I ate and how I felt, no longer willing to pay the price for foods that leave my body feeling less than its best.  

But then there was the ability to stop.  You know with the girl scout cookies I used to eat by the box, the Diet Coke by the case or the entire pizza or the candy bars by the bag.  

I now, finally feel normal around food.  I can eat normal quantities, no longer being embarrassed about what or how much I ate.  

For years I was taught I had to control food but now I find I don't.  For years I was told I could only eat these certain foods in some limited, punishing kind of way.  But I found out that wasn't true either.  For years I was given this list of rules, absolutes, musts.  I rebelled at all of those being left with the feeling of failure, less than, somehow permanently broken and defeated.

But today after unraveling the dysfunctional relationship I had with food I feel normal.  Like I can eat or not eat.  Like I can eat any food in a normal, balanced way.  That the freedom of choice has been restored.  Tears.....  The struggle, never thinking I would get here.  

I just want you to know you can end the fight with food, diets and your body.  You can feel calm and relaxed around food.  There is hope. 

Blessings

Tammy

 

 

About the Author: Tammy Marshall is a dynamic and passionate Speaker, Writer and Christ Follower, Tammy works diligently to bring emotional freedom to those still suffering. At age 14 Tammy knew she was to help others “get out” but didn’t know exactly what that meant. But after overcoming her own addictions at age 25 and walking out the journey of emotional eating, molestation and co-dependency she began to work with others to “get out”. Today not only does she understand what it is it to get out of a damaging lifestyle, belief system and mind set but has created a method to teach others. She is the creator of Christ Focused Tapping, ASK Better Questions for Emotional Eating,  a Matrix Reimprinting, AAIT and EFT Practitioner.  She is the mother to Hayden a college student at the University of Tennessee.  And mom to her silky terrier, rescue named Bo.   She is committed to shining the truth of God’s love into every lie satan plants in a person’s life to steal their identity of who they are in Christ so they can walk in true freedom.

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